Thursday, November 30, 2006

"I Have Cancer, Three Kids, Please Help!"

There’s nothing like the holiday season for giving. It’s a beautiful time of year when we all say, “hey, what the hell, we all love each other, here, have a gift.” Pretty cool holiday, no matter how you cut it.

Of course, the cognitive dissidence of the holiday season and the reality in this country sometimes bites you on the ass and shakes you by the shirt collar. This precise thing happened to me yesterday, while I was Christmas shopping.

Here I was driving around town where I live here in Woodbridge, Virginia, driving down the Prince William Parkway. I pulled into the left turn lane so I could go to Panera Bread to get some lunch, but I just missed the green arrow. That’s when I noticed there was a guy standing on the grassy median strip, right next to my car.

I shot a glance at this guy and I could see that he wasn’t just some guy who was homeless doing some panhandling. We rarely see that here in Woodbridge anyway, with our $400,000 mini-mansions. This guy looked like he was in his late 40’s to mid 50’s, and he was decently dressed and well groomed. He looked like he could be some blue-collar worker, or a maybe an office worker.

I looked into his face and saw nothing but desperation. He was holding a cardboard sign, with a message written in black marker that read:

“I Have Cancer, Three Kids, Please Help!”

I sat there in my car looking at this guy, feeling like complete shit because I had nothing I could think to do to help him. Maybe I could have told him to collect $8,000 and move to Canada where he’ll get free health care. Maybe I could have directed him to some public resource unbeknownst to me that would help him with his dilemma. Hell, maybe just walking up to the guy and giving him a hug would have helped.

But there I sat, at the red light, not knowing what to do, looking at this guy who was desperate and quite possibly looking forward to a very short future that ends in misery and death. That red light seemed to take an eternity. I thought about what possibly could have led this guy to have to swallow his pride and stand out on the street corner and beg for help.

When this is the kind of thing that goes on in this country, we must admit to ourselves that our health care system, as it is currently manifested is a dismal failure. When we have people who must spend the last of their days on this earth begging for someone to help them, then we must say it’s time for a new way of doing things.

If there is anyone out there who knows who this guy is, perhaps there is something we can do collectively to help him. Hell, maybe we can even save his life. What better gift can anyone give for the Holiday Season?

15 Comments:

Anonymous Laika the Space Dog said...

Give him a hug....bwahahaha
$8K and move to Canada.....please! If could panhandle $8K in Woodbridge, VA. I'm moving there!
Comrade Alva! Maybe you could have bought him a loaf of three grain bread while at Panera eating lunch, then stopped at Starbucks and got him at least a $3 double latte, after that, off to Best Buy to get his three kids a Playstation or a Wii and make it the best damn Christmas those kids ever had (and probably the last with dad, if he really does have "cancer").
Alva, you selfish son-of-a-bitch! Report to the re-education camp immediately!
"Cognitive dissidence"? Try "dissonance" comrade. Freudian slip, no doubt.

4:18 AM  
Anonymous Red Square said...

You should never come to New York, man. Your heart will bleed and you will collapse from weltschmertz at the sight of an army of panhandlers in the Financial District. Where else can they get a fiver from a compassionate elitist liberal sucker? You don't see panhandlers in the working class neighborhoods. Nobody's that stupid.

10:41 PM  
Anonymous Meowsevich S. Punchenko said...

Why not give this guy a few dollars or do something charitable instead of preaching about socialized health care and kicking back a latte? Oh, that’s right; charity is only charity if it comes from the impersonal cold hand of a government employee. Ugh, I totally forgot, silly me. Here are some better ideas, how about petitioning local Churches or other religious organizations that could help, or maybe since you're a musician, you and your band could perhaps hold a benefit to raise money for this man? I just don’t understand why every time when you or any other “progressive” sees someone in need you automatically blame the system and demand higher taxes and more social programs? Why Mulva? Why?

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Meowsevich S. Punchenko said...

Alva* Pardon me, I've been watching Seinfeld again.

1:26 AM  
Blogger O'Brien said...

Wow you are a real caring individual. You felt guilty that you had money and he didn't. Jobs done right? It's up to the government to help this poor lad, not you. You shouldn't have to give up your car or house or money to help the needy, thats what the governments for, right? I don't supposed you could have given this guy the money you would have spent on Christmas presents? No, that would inconvenience you. And you've done your part by feeling bad for him. If you're not willing to sacrifice yourself to help people less fortunate then you shouldn't try and force others to do it for you, ie through government programs.
When Glorious Uber Comrade HRC takes over you will give comrade....you will give till your nose bleeds!!!

5:57 AM  
Blogger O'Brien said...

Wow you are a real caring individual. You felt guilty that you had money and he didn't. Jobs done right? It's up to the government to help this poor lad, not you. You shouldn't have to give up your car or house or money to help the needy, thats what the governments for, right? I don't supposed you could have given this guy the money you would have spent on Christmas presents? No, that would inconvenience you. And you've done your part by feeling bad for him. If you're not willing to sacrifice yourself to help people less fortunate then you shouldn't try and force others to do it for you, ie through government programs.
When Glorious Uber Comrade HRC takes over you will give comrade....you will give till your nose bleeds!!!

5:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

F&%#ing Bu$hitler! He really pisses me off!

The guy probably wouldn't have cancer if it wasn't for Bu$hitler and that Nazi Karl Rove.

6:23 AM  
Anonymous Jerry Garcia said...

'Bridge Rat


'Bridge rat down
way down
down, down by the mall of the Woodbridge,
Clean and cancerous
asked me for a dime--
dime for a cup of coffee
I got no dime but
I got time to hear his story:

My name is Flat Gar-eth
and I love my Pearly Baker best
more than my wine
...more than My wine
more than my maker
though he's no friend of mine


Everyone said
I'd come to no good
I knew I would
Pearly believed them


Half of my life
I spent doin' time for
some other fucker's crime
Other half found me stumbling around
drunk on burgundy wine


But I'll get back
on my feet someday
The good Lord willing
if He says I may
'cause I know the life I'm
livin's no good
I'll get a new start
live the life I should


I'll get up and fly away
I'll get up and
fly away...
...fly away


Pearly's been true
true to me, true to my dying day he said
I said to him:
I'm sure she's been
I said to him:
I'm sure she's been true to you


I got up and wandered
Wandered downtown
nowhere to go
just to hang around
I got a girl
named Bonny Lee
I know that girl's been true to me
I know she's been
I'm sure she's been
true to me

4:26 PM  
Anonymous Cave Canem said...

Why does he need $8000 for free healthcare in Canada? And, dumbass, healthcare in Canada ain't free, it's part of the reason why their income is taxed in excess of 50%. Why would you want to send him to Canada anyway? So he can freeze to death while waiting for years to be seen by an oncologist? And then to be told he can't get his chemotherapy because it's been rationed? Are you a cruel as you are obtuse, guilty white liberal?

Furthermore, our healthcare system may not be perfect, but there is absolutely no reason for a patient not to have access to it, thanks to the charity of physicians, hospitals, and taxpayers of this great country.

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Comrade Engineerski said...

Begrudging a Comrade a few Production Quota Equivalency units shows a lack of Revolutionary Spirit. Your Block Commisar shall have some choice words for you at your next Communal Self-Criticism session!

9:25 PM  
Anonymous Hillary said...

Pay no attention to these harsh criticisms Alva. you must forgive them because they have no idea how hard it is being a limosine liberal. I have these same feelings too when I pass by these wretched refuse in D.C. while on my way to the Senate for a vote or whatnot. Sometimes I'm tempted to get on the intercom and ask the driver to stop so I can get out and give them a hug...but then I think, no, I can help them better by raising more campaign cash so I can win in 2008. Then ME and the Democrat controlled Congress can tax the shit out of all Americans, especially those living in Woodbridge and re-distribute it to the homeless and have FREE healthcare for all, just like Canada. So, I know the temptation to give cash to these poor individuals holding signs, standing by road intersections (and I'm glad you didn't Alva) but don't do it. Instead, send the soft greenbacks to me and you won't have these poor creatures hurting your guilt lobe in 2009.

4:18 AM  
Anonymous $.$. Halliburton said...

Nitwit said:

"I care! I care! Oh, look at me! Look at me! I care!"

What a knucklehead. Nitwit, you're more obscene than any two-bit street corner con artist trying to take you for a buck.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Theocrituski said...

Comrades, please have some understanding. I had a bad hair day today and I know just how the man with cancer and three children felt. Comrade Hillary has promised me, if I enlist the entire Castro, to establish a Department of Bad Hair Days when she is elected Empress of the Sun and Rulerette of the Moon. The queens are all in the Castro. She promised us that.

After we have a Department of Bad Hair Days, he will still have cancer and three children, god knows why; I only have lawyers; but he'll look fabulous.

And I'll feel good. Which is the point of the exercise.

9:36 PM  
Blogger Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda said...

Fools! Soon the noble Sturmovics and Katyushas will devastate your defenses, and your blog will be overrun with our Troll-34 tanks and shovel-bearing Proletariat!

Long Live the Revolution!

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, I come up against this pimpin' ass shit all the time! Some rich mufker running around playing hopscotch with some down and out brother.

Meanwhile, the ghettos grow by leaps and bounds thanks to some sorry ass pimps up in Washington!

Democrats care my black ass! This shit gotsta go!

6:34 PM  

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