What’s The Big Deal With The Virginia Tech Shootings?

I turned on the news today and heard about a school shooting. “Another one?”, I asked. This time not in some far off place like Columbine, but this time at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg. “Hey don’t I know some people who graduated there?” I asked myself. “Yes. Yes I do.” I answered. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing they’ve graduated now.” I told myself. “Yes, indeed.” I told myself. “Friends have a tendency to be a little less social when they’re filled with lead.” I noted. “Yes, that’s true. But sometimes they’re more interesting though.” I answered.

School shootings. Again. Why am I not surprised? Hell, if the Amish can shoot each other, why should I expect any different from some Virginia computer geeks? In fact, this entire story gets a 9 on my yawn-o-meter. It would get a 10 if it wasn’t for the fact that it took place in the same state I live in.

The last time I visited Virginia Tech me and some friends stopped off in Staunton, Virginia, off I-81 to get some food at a convenience store. The old guy at the counter, pushing social security age, was hitting on one of the customers, a local girl who looked like she might be barely out of high school. They were discussing a murder that happened there locally, and judging from the conversation it had something to do with a black male killing his white wife. The guy told this chick, “well that’s what happens when you mess with those niggers. I’d like to kill him myself, but this girl had it comin’, marrying a guy like that.” The girl nodded in agreement, although I don’t know if she genuinely agreed or not. The chick leaves the store and I get to the counter, and I’m trying to keep my eyes from popping out of my head having just heard this. The old guy leans over on the counter with a big grin and says softly to me as he’s scanning my little bag of pistachios, “I’d love to have a piece of her, but I think I might be a little old for her.”

At this point I was wondering if I should drag this guy out of the store and just clobber the shit out of him, just on plain principal. Instead, I glance over to the newspaper headline that had stirred the racist conversation between this old fuck and the girl. The headline read, “Man Arrested After Assaulting Wife, Alcohol Involved Police Say”. Turns out that black guy didn’t murder anyone, he just beat his wife after he got drunk.

This is America folks. A bunch of fucked up insane jackasses who shoot first and ask questions later. And at the same time 33 white kids get gunned down in Virginia, 36 Iraqis get killed in 6 separate bombings across the country. Anyone give a shit? Why should anyone give a shit at this point? In the state of Virginia it is perfectly legal to carry a concealed firearm, so long as you have a license to do so. To get such a license, all you need to know how to do is show to your local law enforcement that you know how to handle and shoot a gun. Is there any requirement for you get a psychological exam to make sure you’re not fucking nuts before you can get such a license? No.

So here’s what I’ve decided to do. Stop caring. It works for me, and chances are it’s been working for you too. If the people of this country is going to kill 600,000 Iraqis and feel no shame about it, much less risk killing all life on this planet just so we can have the convenience to drive our big fat American asses to the mall, then the least we can do is stop caring when some more of our death-cult-culture comes-a-shooting on American campuses. Because the American people seem to be dead set on that we have the right to bear arms, but graduating college without a 9mm slug your chest is a privilege. So fuck it, let the bullets fly. Maybe it’s just nature’s way of thinning the herd by getting rid of some of the crazies.

But why should American technical schools have all the fun? Like hell they should. So I’ve decided to make things interesting. I am embarking on a mission, not to take firearms out of the homes of every American. Hell, who has the time for rational solutions? No, instead I’m going to embark on a mission to give semi-automatic weapons with plenty of ammunition to homeless people. Yes, homeless people. Do you really think you’ll tell that crazy black guy with a long gray beard to buzz off and get away from your car with that window squeegee if he’s also got a glock pointed in your direction?

Maybe if we can get every thug, homeless guy, and crazy in the ghetto an Uzi, then maybe white America will finally wake up and say, “we’ve got to do something about guns in this country.” After all, it’s not like that hasn’t been tried before, has it? Maybe we should throw in some money for bus fare to the white suburbs while we’re at it.

But until that time comes, keep this crap off my television. 33 killed at Virginia Tech. Like I give a fuck assholes. I’ve got better things to do than hear this shit. Isn’t a new episode of COPS on?