"We Didn't Start The Fire" Done To GOP Scandals.

A few months before the 2008 election I was listening to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire". I always dug the song, it was so catchy. But when I sat down to read the lyrics I thought it was well, shitty. Not that it's really Billy Joel's fault, writing lyrics in that way is really freaking hard.

But suddenly an idea came to me...I'd bet you could rewrite the lyrics to this song, and have them refer to some of the many scandals from the Bush administration. After laboring for several days, this is the result. For kicks, try singing along with the song to these new lyrics.

Scooter Libby, Neal Horsley, Tom DeLay, KKK
Shell, BP, and Amoco, Halliburton
Judith Miller, New York Times, Jesse Helms, Phil Gramm
Ken Lay, Kissinger, and Berlusconi

George Bush, Pretzels, wiretap, Abramoff
Billo, Geraldo, torture in Guantánamo
Reaganomics, privatize, global heating suicide
PNAC, Trent Lott, Cialis on my TV set

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
Well, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Wal-Mart, AIPAC, The IMF, World Bank
Negroponte, death squads, occupation
9/11, bomb blasts, tax cuts, getting rich
Anthrax, Saddam, and free speech zones
Al Qaeda, My Pet Goat, SAVAK, “Stay the course.”
Fallujah, Lebanon, Mussolini’s here again
New Orleans photo-ops, TSA sippy cups,
Gonzo, Karl Rove, blacks kicked off the voting rolls

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
Well, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Yellowcake, Tim McVeigh, Downing Street, CIA
Diebold, black box, Honey bees are dying off
Columbine, Virginia Tech, the SOA, the deficit
Terri Schiavo, Bill Frist, health care is getting sick

Fox News, culture war, Faith based, Goss’ whores
Lieberman, Safavian, Falwell kicks the can
Free trade, Katrina, FEMA, treason
Russert, Tobias, Cheney shot someone in the face

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
Well, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Downing Street, Hardball, Osama, Panama
Rumsfeld, Enron, Rush Limbaugh’s on heroin
Robertson’s diamond mines, It’s Giuliani time
Randy “Duke” Cunningham, Condi’s buying shoes again
Stem cells, landmines, Bolton’s at the UN,
Mumia’s locked away, what else do I have to say?

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
Well, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Consolidation media, Bechtel’s in Bolivia
Darfur, Dubai, Walter Reed, Swift Boat
Foley and Gannon, Claude Allen’s stealing
Clear Skies, doughnut holes, Tillman killed in Afghanistan
Shia-Sunni genocide, vets committing suicide
Chalabi taking Iranian bets, color-coded homeland threats
China exporting everything, Arms race is back again
Never ending terror wars, I can't take it anymore

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
Well, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
Well, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it