I Have A New Friend.

About an hour after my previous post I received an e-mail. I guess my post struck a nerve since I never receive e-mails from readers of Nitwit Planet, typically they’re smart enough to leave their comments in the comments section of the blog. I can only assume he (and they’re almost always a “he”, minus the wrinkles) didn’t want his words seen here. In any case, this is what my new friend sent. I’m including his e-mail address for your…ahem…convenience.

Subject: Page One
Date: 6/22/2006 11:14:49 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: chaslowe@bellsouth.net
To: GSFU@aol.com

I just read every word on your front page. You know about 1/3 of what you think you know. Do you drink heavily? Drugs maybe?

For those who have read Nitwit Planet for some time know, I am rather free with letting people who disagree with me comment on my blog. I have even patiently and extensively debated a troll or two in my time, despite their striking inability to fathom anything outside of Rush. Leftists are usually forced to debate these people not on facts but on what Reich wingers say they believe. When their beliefs fail them, they start with idiotic innuendo or personal insults like this nitwit. The “you’re a drug user” insult is practically patented by these people.

For about three seconds I considered debating this guy, but damn, what do I debate? Whether or not I’m a drunk? And if I managed to win him over to my side, what then? Do I really what a jackass like this on our side? So I responded in the only appropriate way I know how:

Subject: Re: Page One
Date: 6/22/2006 11:59:32 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: GSFU
To: chaslowe@bellsouth.net

You know you Reich wing nutbags are always so amusing. Why don't you do our great nation a favor and stuff a rifle in your mouth.

Fuck off piss ant.

Alva Goldbook

I figured with a retort as sharp as this, this creep would leave me alone. I figured the very suggestion of his suicide being a patriotic act would all by itself be enough of an incentive to keep him from replying. Well, what can I say? I was wrong.

Subject: Re: Page One
Date: 6/23/2006 12:23:31 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: chaslowe@bellsouth.net
To: GSFU@aol.com

"Fuck off piss ant." <--- Impressive vocabulary Alva. Two words with four letters each, and two words with three letters each. Alva ... how many total letters do we have in the whole sentence?

And the only Reich Wing nutbags you could name are in the Sunday comics. I have to go now. You see, I own a business that employs the people who work and pay taxes that support Socialists like you.

In our next lesson I'll explain to you that the word Reich is associated with the Nazis, who are Socialists, like you. Nitwit.

Fuck you half-witted dolt.

What can one possibly say to a cretin like this? Should I even bother to point out his hypocrisy? Is it even worth the effort? Of course this guy couldn’t help but throw another Reich wing cliché in here, claiming to be a “business owner”. If every retard on the net actually owned a business who claimed they did, Mexican illegals would be getting fifty bucks an hour. Next up he’ll tell me that he’s rich thanks to tax cuts and the stock market.

So I decided to say the only thing I could say.

Subject: Re: Page One
Date: 6/23/2006 2:32:47 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: GSFU
Reply To:
To: chaslowe@bellsouth.net

What part of “fuck off piss ant” don’t you understand? If I wanted to debate you I would have. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in puss-brained sycophant jackasses like you. Suck a fucking tailpipe, make an appointment with Doctor Kevorkian, fix yourself a pine box sandwich. Make this country you pretend to give two rats ass of a damn about better and fuck off and die.

Merry shivs you waste of space,
Alva Goldbook.

So will this be the end of our beautiful friendship? Stay tuned!